yesterday i went to his wake with val. at first i didnt know what to expect, what to feel. but it was answered when i saw his picture and went to pay respects... and then and there, there was like a feeling like something is stuck in my throat and i don't really know what to say. emotions of saddnes, sort of overwhelmed me through the night... i couldn't help but to let my tears fall after sometime...

we spoke to his mum and found out more about his conditions after his accident... he suffered and fought for his life in the hospital for close to 17 days. i knew that he was someone who would tolerate pain... and knowing that the pain he felt was so unbearable that he even told his mum that he couldnt take it and wanted to go... it must have felt very very bad. so at least... he is finally resting in peace... with all the pain taken away from him...

Ken Lloyd will always be remembered for his loyalty towards his friends and how he always put his friends before self. yesterday during the wake, we had his best friend and sister that spoke about him... and all talking about how he often help his friend when in need and all that. to think that many years ago in sec school, he was already like that. he would stand by his friends who are in trouble, even though he know that he would get into trouble and get into nonsense detention and all that. he would always always go all out to help his friends... even just before he passed away, the sis said that he asked his sis, how to pray? because he wanted to pray for all his friends... even to his last lap, he was still thinking of his friends...

i remembered that last time in sec one, whenever exams were near and i would get worried about failing it and so on, he would always tell some nonsense jokes to make me not think about the stress and all. and everytime after an exam you would see him happily playing away, but not as if he would do very well because he wasn't the study type. rather he is the carefree type that wasn't really bothered by his grades. he was always happy-go-lucky and always there to put a smile on his friends' faces...

it is still hard for me to register the fact that this has happened... flashes of the past memories kept running through my head... and it must be tough knowing how his best friends might have felt... but i believed they all kept a strong front. especially his family... at least the thought that he is no longer suffering from the unbearable pain and torture would put our mind at ease...



ken lloyd, you have made an impact in our lifes in someway or another. and we would always remember all these good memories of you...

Labels: Reality

today i received a call from one of my secondary school friend... someone that i never imagined i would receive the call from. and he delivered a very saddening message to me... something that i would never once imagine. one of my secondary school friend passed away...

even though we were never once classmates, but we had been quite close at one stage of our lives. close till he was once someone i would sms everyday. someone whom i have once looked forward to seeing everyday. when we were all so young and carefree and we only thought of playing and having fun or hanging out at ginza plaza. and the news just hit me in reality. life is too short and unpredictable.. i remember talking to him a while back on msn and he was still doing fine... but suddenly, all these happened in a flash, without any warning...

its still hard to swallow the fact that these has happened and he had left us...




this post, is for you, Ken Lloyd Tan Zanwen.
you will always be remembered.

Labels: Reality

weee, i have got a new ipod touch! (: (look at the pic! it's brand new out from the box!)

i bought it over the weekends with my hard-earned savings! and it is indeed a gadget to have! especially if you like gadgets, this is one gadget not to be missed as you can do practically everything with it besides calling, taking photos or smsing. other then that its good! haha. i love the app that i can download! i downloaded this game 'sally spa' a popcap safri game which is selling at $29.90 for the CD-rom version at only 99cents!!! ((: and its exactly the same play mode and the same number of levels except you are using your fingers to tap on the ipod touch rather than the mouse to play. its awesome! haha. ((:

the ipod touch really made me happy! hehe i dont have to lug my laptop to sch yet i can check my emails, surf FB, go online in my work place! lol. plus i can do simple editing pictures and so on! lol. i love love love it. its so fun to play around and explore!

okay, if i add anymore it will sound like an apple's ad. lol.



anyways, today we had a little car wash in our school to collect money to donate to the children's society. all the little kids were involved in the car wash and i bet they did enjoy themselves washing and playing with soap and water. ((: plus its for a good deed!

Labels: Loves, Photos

im having mixed feelings inside me..

today is the start of the PC show 2009. and i remember probably 1 year plus ago i was still actively involved in working during the PC/IT show. i really miss that experience of working hard and being very tired from the 4 days. the job taught me how to face different diffcult customers and so on. well, now i can only say, those were the days when i have the time to work part-time.

apart from that, im really missing team-rp wakeboarding team. i remember last year and the year before, this period of time is the most crucial period of time where we train very hard for the coming IVP. but this year due to work committments i couldnt train together with the team... ): somehow it makes me sad that im not able to be there to train together. i miss the company... i miss the fun we share under the sun... i miss complaining about the hot scotching sun together with my dears... i miss riding... and val! i miss riding together with you. =/ and this team rp is the only team that gave me the feeling that i belonged to a team. especially last year during ivp, how we all stood by the shore, giving each other support and so on...

anyways, team rp! you will always have my support. and i know that you will do the school proud! ((: its also time for me to start training for the alunmi division too..

sometimes i really wish that i need not study part-time. it really leaves me drained and tired and not having enough time for myself to hang out with friends and catch up with our lives... ): well, i just can count down that it is probably 11 more months till graduation for me. and im looking forward to it!

Labels: Rants

I'd like to build the world a home
and furnish it with love
grow apple trees and honey bees
and snow white turtle doves

I'd like to teach the world to sing
in perfect harmony
I'd like to hold it in my arms
and keep it company

I'd like to see the world for once
all standing hand in hand
and hear them echo through the hills
for peace throuout the land
thats the song I hear

Let the world sing today
a song of peace that echoes on
and never goes away

I'd like to teach the world to sing
in perfect harmony...


suddenly, i fell in love with this song... its so beautiful and so sweet.
especially the beginning where they say "I'd like to build the world a home and furnish it with love grow apple trees and honey bees and snow white turtle doves" its such a carefree and wonderful life that is filled with warmth and happiness.

You may find this song on youtube. i think coke actually used this song for one of their ads before. ((: awww, i just love it so much! haha.

Labels: Lyrics

and im back from my well-deserved short holiday break. it was fulfilling for my soul as i really relaxed and have fun without thinking much about work... but good and fun times never really last very long and before i know it, it was back to work and reality for me. haha. where the workload just piled up higher and higher.

anyways, the past few days made me think alot about life.
as a teacher, i am always thinking if i have given the best i could to my children. if i have taught them the best i could in terms of education and moral values. but sometimes when i get really busy with admin stuff, lesson planning and deadlines, i seldom have much time to really interact with them on personal level and chit chat with them and shower them with love... and when that happen, i feel that i short change them of the attention they deserves for that very day.

my n1 class is slowly expanding. which means there will be more children fighting for my attention. i would really wish to give everyone my 100% attention. but it is not really possible in physical terms. =/ and sometimes it makes me feel sad that i cannot offer my very best to all my children. well, either way, life still goes on as usual... as a personal reflection, i know that i have done my best. but just sometimes i need an outlet for me to rant my thoughts and stuff...

bottom line is, being a childcare teacher made me learn that a childcare teacher is not just one to teach ABC, 123, how to read, write and do art and craft. we are as good as their god-parents, siblings, maid, story-teller, role model, playing buddy and sometimes, best friend. and it makes me happy to be able to make an impact in their life even if they wouldnt remember who their nursery teacher is in 10 years down the road.

Labels: Reflections, The role of a childcare teacher